FEAR

Has anyone ever told you to stay calm? Has it worked?

When in the throes of fear, we lose agency in the situation. It's as if we've deferred the outcome to our tormentor. As we watch the bowler running in, we are imagining the impact of that hard cricket ball, which will be travelling too fast to see. It's going to be unplayable and it's going to break my bones... At the top of the mountain we stare down the precipitous icy slope, which goes on for so long that there's no way we'll be able to maintain control as we gather break-neck speed. We're going to crash hard, bounce and fall perilously all the way to the bottom, likely never to walk again ...Before we walk to the ring we concede that our opponent is much more experienced, stronger, faster and fitter. There's no contest - it's going to be embarrassing and it's going hurt really bad. Three minutes will feel like an eternity. How the hell did I let myself get here?!

Self-preservation is what keeps us alive. It's true to the human condition that we'll walk 100 steps to avoid something we fear. Conversely, we'll walk only a few steps towards things that attract us. What we fear is rarely as bad as it seems and what we fear rarely comes to pass.

What does it take to 'stay calm' in a situation?

Accepting that you have no control over the speed of the ball, the gradient nor the icy-ness of the slope or how good your opponent actually is, is the first thing. Accept that what you're fearing has not happened yet. Accept that nerves are normal and that fear is forcing you to ask "how the hell do I get out of this" - the difference is key.

A fluttery tummy, clammy hands, a raised heart rate and a high state of alertness is everything the body does to prepare us correctly. Fear strips us of our choices. When composed, we can maximise full use of our faculties to play the ball, descend the vertical slope or see the punches. After all, as long as the ball doesn't catch a wholly unpredictable edge, I could simply duck or step out the way. Ahhh, now we begin to hypothesize what is possible and a sense of control comes back to us. 

Acceptance above all else is key. Then visualise the options, however ludicrous they may seem. At the top of the slopes we tell ourselves that we're nowhere near experienced enough to ski this one! Vertigo kicks in, visibility has reduced and our knees tremble. We realise that nobody can do this for us. But then we say, hang on - what if I take my skis off, carry them and just slide down on my bum - then I am in control. Once we outline the worst hypothesis, we can build a more coherent strategy. 

How to Beat Fear?

The best way to allay fear is without doubt repetition. To face our fear time and time again is the most effective way to disarm it. By the tenth ball - we see it. We judge where the ball could be by the time it reaches us and we start to choose what shot and what part of the bat we hit it with. We still have the option to duck or swerve if we're taken by surprise. Before we have the luxury of experience, we must put one foot in front of the other. Only by doing can we reduce fear's potency. Next time that you're uncomfortable, remember that nerves are normal, before fear robs you of your agency. Visualise your options and proceed.